New Year, New Attitude

New Year's Resolutions - I make them every year, only to make the same ones when the next year rolls around! This year, I have decided not to make any New Year's Resolutions, but instead I am going to focus on things that I should STOP doing to myself. My usual resolutions, like losing weight, being more financially stable, and eating healthier, will all come to be reality if I can focus on the things that continue to sabotage my well being. Thank you Allison for posting this on Facebook, it was a reminder of just how hard we can be on ourselves. Remember to keep the glass half full. Think of all the good things we all have to offer and make 2012 the year we look at ourselves the way others see us rather than the way we see ourselves. We ARE good enough and we ARE more important than we realize! I'm am focusing on #22, Stop overlooking  the beauty of small moments. These small moments usually turn out to be pretty big ones and sometimes I have to remind myself of that! If I can focus on even a few of these things, I know my life would become a lot better :)

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curve balls are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. 

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. 
You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right. 

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!

Let's make this the best one yet!

The Jar

Another Christmas has come and gone. So much importance these days is put on buying things and spending a lot of money on frivolous gifts. My favourite gift this year, was one that came from the heart. It was a gift from Kelsie, a jar, all decorated with ribbons and stars, and Kelsie's signature decorations...googly eyes! In the jar, are little pieces of paper all folded up with inspirational quotes and sayings on them. I want to share these with you all, and really think about them as you read them and how the meaning of the quote is reflected in your own life:  

~ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

~ Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

~ I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

~ Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

~ Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius; and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

~ How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

~ Sometimes life isn't about the end. It's not always about tomorrow and the day after that, what we achieve over the years and how we leave the world. Sometimes it's about today. Any of us could die tomorrow regardless of the horde. We could get sick or be injured or anything else. That's the risk we take waking up each morning and stepping outside.

~ Everyone faces challenges in life. It's a matter of how you learn to overcome them and using them to your advantage.

~ You are good enough.

~ In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

~ The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.

~ You must realize, knowing everything won't do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty in this world.

~ Life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is, you get to decide how you are going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. They ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

~ Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.

~ People should be able to say how they feel - how they really feel - not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouths.

~ Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don't spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.

~ There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

~ Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart.

~ Even on a cloudy day, I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun.

~ Every little thing is going to be alright,

~ Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you!

~ Even the best fall down sometimes.

~ You were born an original. Don't die a copy.

~ Just be yourself, you are wonderful.

~ I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all, I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

~ Next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself in.

~ You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

~ You are more important than you realize.

~ Be the change you wish to see in the world.

~ If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.

~ Don't worry, be happy.

~ Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown.

~ Fuck everything. Beer time? :)

~ You are loved.

Never under estimate the meaning of a gift made from the heart. They are the ones that you will always remember. I know this has inspired me to be more creative in gift giving. I will be opening my mind more and my wallet less, and hopefully you will be inspired to do the same :)

Christmas

Christmas....the time of year when we all run around like mad men trying to buy the "perfect" gift. My question is, is there really ever a perfect gift? It's hard to find a perfect gift for people when you are always looking in the wrong place for it...the local Walmart. The perfect gift isn't something that dies when the batteries run out, or is replaced when a newer, faster version comes on the market. The perfect gift doesn't come from a box or bag or from a fancy store. There really is no "perfect" gift that you can buy. Too many people people under estimate the value of their time. Time spent with families and friends is invaluable to those that receive it. Christmas for me is not about what I am getting but rather, who I am going to be spending the time with. I am so excited to have Kelsie come down and spend Christmas with Darren and I. Having her here will bring lots of love, laughter and really good times. It's going to be FUN! People now a days are too busy finding the perfect gift that they forget what the season is all about..FUN! And I am looking forward to Christmas Day with Darren's family over for dinner and Boxing Day when we will be with my family for a Christmas brunch. So, it's not about the gifts but instead being with those you love. So Christmas for me will include family, food, booze (pina coladas) and memories. Shouldn't yours be the same?

I just want to wish all my family and friends a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Angels Among Us...

I just want to take a brief moment to remember someone special, my brother-in-law Bob. The reason I am remebering him now is that on Thursday, December 8th, he will have been gone for a year. December 8th also happens to be my birthday. It was forever changed last year when Bob was taken from us. I do feel that he is in a better place and finally feels like his old self again. He struggled for a long time with his health and it finally got the better of him. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my sister Mitch, and how she must be missing him. She is one of the strongest and most generous people I know and I envy that about her. So on Thursday, when everyone will be wishing me a Happy Birthday, I will be thinking of Mitch, and how I wish that there was some way I could bring Bob back...there truely are angels among us...Cheers to a great guy :)

Never Be Afraid To Say What You Feel

So many times I wish I would have had the courage to speak my mind. I'm the type of person that avoids confrontation if at all possible. I avoid talking about something because I am afraid of the reaction that I will get or the argument I might start. Sometimes I think the lack of courage and the inability to speak up, has caused me to be resentful, angry and even distant from people I love or have loved in the past. I am afraid to hurt people so I don't say anything when something is bothering me. As a result, I am the one who is angry and resentful, whereas the situation could have been resolved by talking about it and the anger and resentment could all have been avoided. I am not talking about anything in particular that is going on with me today, just lessons I have learned in the past. I have gotten better about talking about things, but even now, I am hesitant to bring something up because people are just sensitive by nature, especially when they feel like they are being attacked, or picked on. That is never my intention. Communication is the key to any happy relationship no matter who the relationship is with..parents, siblings or partners. Nothing can ever get resolved if concerns are never addressed.

I guess there are a lot of things that I could do better but one big thing is talking about things that bother me. I can never seem to avoid hurting people by talking about these things. For instance, not long ago, my kids weren't getting along because of something one of them did. I killed me to see them not talking knowing how much they love each other and how important they are to each other. Whenever I brought up the subject, feelings got hurt and anger just ran rampid. It didn't matter what I said, it was always the wrong thing. It hurt a lot and made me sad knowing that there was nothing I could do to make the situation better. They had to resolve it on their own. The wait for that to happen was unbearable. If they had just talked about the situation, rather than avoiding the issue, they would have been a lot happier a lot faster. Once the problem was addressed, it was resolved and life got back to normal. All those months of anger and hatred just do not make any sense. It was time wasted. All is good now, but what if this had gone on for years, so many memories would never have happened. I hope they have both learned from this.  

So take my advice and adopt my motto: LIFE'S TOO SHORT! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!
You will be glad you did :)