I Am My Mother's Daughter...

Well, it was inevitable. It's true what they say, you wind up just like your mother. Luckily for me, that's an awesome thing! As Mother's Day came and went, it got me thinking about what being a mother is all about.

When people say to me, "You're just like your mother" I take that as a real compliment. My mom hasn't always had an easy life (well, never actually). There are 5 kids in our family, 7 if you count the ones that they lost before my oldest brother was born. Personally, I can't imagine losing either one of my children. I would be absolutely devastated. Somehow, my parents dealt with their losses and trucked on to having all of us. My dad always held down at least 2 jobs to support his growning family as my mom stayed home to raise us. For many years there was always two kids in diapers at the same time. There was always a meal on the table at supper time when my dad came in from work. The house was always neatly kept, although not always perfect. It had the so-called "lived in" look. We didn't care, we had food in our bellies and a roof over our head. We didn't always have a phone, but we had each other to talk to. We didn't always have the most high-tech toys but we had a lake at our front door. We made our own fun, and we loved each others' company. Many a day when we lived on the lake, all of us kids would haul the life guard's stand way out into the water and jump off of it. Only to watch the life guards haul it back in the next day. This routine never, ever got old. As a kid, I remember going camping..a lot! One summer, we camped for the whole summer (at least it felt like it!) It was so awesome! I have memories of going swimming at the beach and we would take our blow up floating thingies. My mom always hated them because she had a huge fear of us floating down the river and being gone forever. As a mom, I know how she  must have felt. If you ask Kelsie and Rob, I am sure they will tell you that I have always been paranoid about things like that all the time as they were growing up. Who knows, maybe that's why we are all still here?! So, I guess I am turning out just like my mother.

One of my mother's best things that she likes is to have all her family mulling around her. We recently had a get together for her, for her 80th birthday. It was great to see her so happy. And it was all because of us. It wasn't because of all the food, endless as usual as it is at all our gatherings lol and it wasn't the gifts that she received, although she did like her necklace we got her! It was simply the fact that all her children and grand-children were there with her to celebrate her birthday. Hell, she would have been just as happy if it was Groundhog Day! She just loves, loves, loves her family around. I am the same way. Just give me my family around me, and of course my D and Maui, and I am one happy woman. I forget about all my money troubles and my stresses and frustrations at work, and I am right in my glory. Nothing else really matters except the important people in my life. That's what gets you through everything and keeps your glass half full :) And as much as I am my mother's daughter, so is Kelsie. She is definitely her mother's daughter too. Family is, and always will be #1. Nothing wrong with that...

So for all of you that are told that "You are just like your mother!", just smile a big grin and say "Thanks!"

I hope I am doing my mom proud by raising a daughter just like me :O) I had an awesome teacher...

Don't Try To Change Me....I Like Me!

If you think you can try to change me at this point in my life, GOOD LUCK! I have been set in my ways for quite some time and I don't plan on changing who I am or what I am all about now :)

A long time ago I was involved with someone (who shall remain nameless to avoid hurting anyone's feelings), and slowly throughout the relationship, he proceeded to mould me into the person he wanted me to be. I guess it was a control thing, I don't know. And it worked for awhile I must admit. Slowly I saw parts of me slipping away. I stopped hanging out with friends, my way of thinking evolved into his way of thinking and my impulsiveness just kind of disappeared. The woman I was, was not the same as the woman I was becoming. At first I didn't really notice it because I was caught up in the relationship and my underlying need to make people happy, I always want to please people. I forgot to put me first...eventually friends stopped calling me and I stopped going out after work with people because I was expected to be home. Not wanting to rock the boat and upset him, I just did what he expected. I lost who I was, the person that he loved when we first met. The person he pursued to no end. Maybe he liked the challenge of the chase and not the prize at the end. I just don't know. I felt guilty if I went out, and if I did, I was always the first to leave so I could get home in decent time. I had come to realize that I liked the person who I was (a lot of people struggle with accepting themselves as "good enough" for other people). I liked me! I liked the person I had become and everyone else liked me too. Not to be vain, but it was true. I had no enemies. Strange but true lol. My parents raised me right. I always put others first (not always wise I might add!), always did things for people and expected nothing in return, and was just generally nice to everyone, among other things. So why would anyone want to change me? I really don't get it.

Sometimes, I think that people try to change others because they need changes in themselves. For example,
when I am encouraged to stay at home rather than go out, it is because that person is not comfortable outside their own environment. They aren't good or comfortable with social situations so instead of going out and socializing, and bringing themselves up to your level, they would sooner bring you down to theirs. It is easier for them to change you rather than stepping outside their own comfort zone. I can understand that as at one time I used to be that person...very shy. You would never know it now, but I used to love going to dance clubs but had a great fear of somebody asking me to dance (I'm not a good dancer, just ask Kelsie, she will tell you the truth and quite possibly give you a demonstration!) It was really something if I accepted a dance invitation. But going to the club was my way of stepping out of my comfort zone. I was a lot more comfortable staying home and having friends come over...no social awkwardness to look for. Perfect! But as fate would have it, I couldn't change my friends so I was the one that needed to change. So that's why today I am a very social person, love to just hang out with people wherever, and everybody loves me (just ask D!) I like the person who I have evolved into, and I don't want that to change. I just want to make this one last point. To all those people that get married and think they will be able to change their significant other after they tie the knot, THINK AGAIN! You fell in love with the person that they were, not the person you want them to be. So if you feel you need to change them, then maybe you should have kept looking for that ideal person. Keep in mind nobody's perfect, not even you!

So, if you love me, love everything about me...my impulsiveness, my quirky idiosincrecies, my stubborness, and my undying love for my friends and family who I will do anything for at the spur of the moment, no questions asked. Please don't ever ask me to change who I am, I like me the way I am and I hope that is good enough for you too :) Besides, aren't our differences what makes us who we are as individuals?