If you think you can try to change me at this point in my life, GOOD LUCK! I have been set in my ways for quite some time and I don't plan on changing who I am or what I am all about now :)
A long time ago I was involved with someone (who shall remain nameless to avoid hurting anyone's feelings), and slowly throughout the relationship, he proceeded to mould me into the person he wanted me to be. I guess it was a control thing, I don't know. And it worked for awhile I must admit. Slowly I saw parts of me slipping away. I stopped hanging out with friends, my way of thinking evolved into his way of thinking and my impulsiveness just kind of disappeared. The woman I was, was not the same as the woman I was becoming. At first I didn't really notice it because I was caught up in the relationship and my underlying need to make people happy, I always want to please people. I forgot to put me first...eventually friends stopped calling me and I stopped going out after work with people because I was expected to be home. Not wanting to rock the boat and upset him, I just did what he expected. I lost who I was, the person that he loved when we first met. The person he pursued to no end. Maybe he liked the challenge of the chase and not the prize at the end. I just don't know. I felt guilty if I went out, and if I did, I was always the first to leave so I could get home in decent time. I had come to realize that I liked the person who I was (a lot of people struggle with accepting themselves as "good enough" for other people). I liked me! I liked the person I had become and everyone else liked me too. Not to be vain, but it was true. I had no enemies. Strange but true lol. My parents raised me right. I always put others first (not always wise I might add!), always did things for people and expected nothing in return, and was just generally nice to everyone, among other things. So why would anyone want to change me? I really don't get it.
Sometimes, I think that people try to change others because they need changes in themselves. For example,
when I am encouraged to stay at home rather than go out, it is because that person is not comfortable outside their own environment. They aren't good or comfortable with social situations so instead of going out and socializing, and bringing themselves up to your level, they would sooner bring you down to theirs. It is easier for them to change you rather than stepping outside their own comfort zone. I can understand that as at one time I used to be that person...very shy. You would never know it now, but I used to love going to dance clubs but had a great fear of somebody asking me to dance (I'm not a good dancer, just ask Kelsie, she will tell you the truth and quite possibly give you a demonstration!) It was really something if I accepted a dance invitation. But going to the club was my way of stepping out of my comfort zone. I was a lot more comfortable staying home and having friends come over...no social awkwardness to look for. Perfect! But as fate would have it, I couldn't change my friends so I was the one that needed to change. So that's why today I am a very social person, love to just hang out with people wherever, and everybody loves me (just ask D!) I like the person who I have evolved into, and I don't want that to change. I just want to make this one last point. To all those people that get married and think they will be able to change their significant other after they tie the knot, THINK AGAIN! You fell in love with the person that they were, not the person you want them to be. So if you feel you need to change them, then maybe you should have kept looking for that ideal person. Keep in mind nobody's perfect, not even you!
So, if you love me, love everything about me...my impulsiveness, my quirky idiosincrecies, my stubborness, and my undying love for my friends and family who I will do anything for at the spur of the moment, no questions asked. Please don't ever ask me to change who I am, I like me the way I am and I hope that is good enough for you too :) Besides, aren't our differences what makes us who we are as individuals?
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