Success...

 
                     “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”
                           ― John Lennon


So, today I celebrated my 52nd birthday. I have always thought that by the time I turned 50, I would have everything I needed to be able to retire...that I would be financially stable and have the possessions I think I need ( a new car, a modest home and a nice little nest egg). Truth is, I don't have any of these. It sort of makes me feel like I have not been successful in my life, that I have not been focused enough to be where I want to be or should be, and that somehow I have just floated through life.As this may seem true, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to be doing whether it made sense or not. Why are some people so successful while other people like myself, just float through life?

I'm sure that I am not the only one that thinks like this. So I want to remind all of those people, including me, that success comes in many forms. While some people are successful financially. others like me, are successful in a different way. Although I don't have that fancy house or drive a new car or have a nest egg for the future, I have awesome kids. I can honestly say, they were, and continue to be, my biggest success. I believe I have been a success as a mother because it is evident in my children and how they've turned out. I have been a success as a friend because of all the truly wonderful friends I have, and you have to be a great friend in order to have great friends. And I have been a success as a person, as a woman, simply because I would do anything for anybody, and I don't take people for granted. I live by the Golden Rule and practice it every day.

So next time you feel that you have no successes to celebrate, remember all the things you have accomplished in your life, the important things. Financial freedom can go as quickly as it came, but a successful way of life is irreplaceable. It is that way of life that lives on in your children, it is that success that is celebrated...inspire others to be as successful as you :)

A New Journey

I guess there comes a time when you have to say goodbye to your kids. Not literally, they just grow up over night and all of a sudden they are moving in their own direction. There's nothing you can do about it, it just happens. Right now, I am dealing with Rob and his move to Halifax, Nova Scotia...he is moving with Erica so she can go to school at NSCAD. She is so lucky to have Rob in her life and she has said over and over how lucky she is, she loves him, and I know he is in good hands :)

I know I am not the only person that is going to miss him when he leaves next week. Kelsie is going to miss her brother...her best friend. Even though they haven't always got along (what brothers and sisters do?) they know they are always there for each other no matter what. Her heart will have a huge hole in it when he leaves. There's just something about having a hug that no phone call can emulate. It's great to be able to talk to someone, but having them here in person is the best. I for one, will miss his bear hugs and sense of humour.

                                                                   ~ best friends~

I don't really know how to express in words just how I feel about his move but I imagine that there are a lot of people that can put themselves in my shoes and know how I feel. I know that I am not the only person that has had a child or sibling or parent move away, across the country or sometimes across the world, but right now I feel like I am the only one. I know I am just being selfish but I will get better at it, I promise :) After all, Darren's parents came to Canada and left him in England when he was about 17, that must have been very hard for him, and my girlfriend had both of her sons do numerous tours in Afghanistan and Iraq not even knowing if they would return. With the grace of God, they returned and are now at home. Rob too will return at some point, but even if he and Erica decide to make Halifax their new home, I will always be here for him if he decides to come back. In the meantime, I really do hope for them all the luck and fun in their new journey.

                                                         ~a bond no one can break~





So Rob and Erica, on behalf of all the family, especially me, BB and Darren, we really do wish you the best on your new adventure. It's going to be an awesome experience for the both of you! It's beautiful in Halifax and change is always good for the soul. You guys will really be missed!!

                                                          ~ geez  I will miss this lol ~
                                   

                                                       ~ BB and Bob...best buds~

It's time to make new memories of the next chapter in your life. Good Luck Rob & Erica! Love you!

I Am My Mother's Daughter...

Well, it was inevitable. It's true what they say, you wind up just like your mother. Luckily for me, that's an awesome thing! As Mother's Day came and went, it got me thinking about what being a mother is all about.

When people say to me, "You're just like your mother" I take that as a real compliment. My mom hasn't always had an easy life (well, never actually). There are 5 kids in our family, 7 if you count the ones that they lost before my oldest brother was born. Personally, I can't imagine losing either one of my children. I would be absolutely devastated. Somehow, my parents dealt with their losses and trucked on to having all of us. My dad always held down at least 2 jobs to support his growning family as my mom stayed home to raise us. For many years there was always two kids in diapers at the same time. There was always a meal on the table at supper time when my dad came in from work. The house was always neatly kept, although not always perfect. It had the so-called "lived in" look. We didn't care, we had food in our bellies and a roof over our head. We didn't always have a phone, but we had each other to talk to. We didn't always have the most high-tech toys but we had a lake at our front door. We made our own fun, and we loved each others' company. Many a day when we lived on the lake, all of us kids would haul the life guard's stand way out into the water and jump off of it. Only to watch the life guards haul it back in the next day. This routine never, ever got old. As a kid, I remember going camping..a lot! One summer, we camped for the whole summer (at least it felt like it!) It was so awesome! I have memories of going swimming at the beach and we would take our blow up floating thingies. My mom always hated them because she had a huge fear of us floating down the river and being gone forever. As a mom, I know how she  must have felt. If you ask Kelsie and Rob, I am sure they will tell you that I have always been paranoid about things like that all the time as they were growing up. Who knows, maybe that's why we are all still here?! So, I guess I am turning out just like my mother.

One of my mother's best things that she likes is to have all her family mulling around her. We recently had a get together for her, for her 80th birthday. It was great to see her so happy. And it was all because of us. It wasn't because of all the food, endless as usual as it is at all our gatherings lol and it wasn't the gifts that she received, although she did like her necklace we got her! It was simply the fact that all her children and grand-children were there with her to celebrate her birthday. Hell, she would have been just as happy if it was Groundhog Day! She just loves, loves, loves her family around. I am the same way. Just give me my family around me, and of course my D and Maui, and I am one happy woman. I forget about all my money troubles and my stresses and frustrations at work, and I am right in my glory. Nothing else really matters except the important people in my life. That's what gets you through everything and keeps your glass half full :) And as much as I am my mother's daughter, so is Kelsie. She is definitely her mother's daughter too. Family is, and always will be #1. Nothing wrong with that...

So for all of you that are told that "You are just like your mother!", just smile a big grin and say "Thanks!"

I hope I am doing my mom proud by raising a daughter just like me :O) I had an awesome teacher...

Don't Try To Change Me....I Like Me!

If you think you can try to change me at this point in my life, GOOD LUCK! I have been set in my ways for quite some time and I don't plan on changing who I am or what I am all about now :)

A long time ago I was involved with someone (who shall remain nameless to avoid hurting anyone's feelings), and slowly throughout the relationship, he proceeded to mould me into the person he wanted me to be. I guess it was a control thing, I don't know. And it worked for awhile I must admit. Slowly I saw parts of me slipping away. I stopped hanging out with friends, my way of thinking evolved into his way of thinking and my impulsiveness just kind of disappeared. The woman I was, was not the same as the woman I was becoming. At first I didn't really notice it because I was caught up in the relationship and my underlying need to make people happy, I always want to please people. I forgot to put me first...eventually friends stopped calling me and I stopped going out after work with people because I was expected to be home. Not wanting to rock the boat and upset him, I just did what he expected. I lost who I was, the person that he loved when we first met. The person he pursued to no end. Maybe he liked the challenge of the chase and not the prize at the end. I just don't know. I felt guilty if I went out, and if I did, I was always the first to leave so I could get home in decent time. I had come to realize that I liked the person who I was (a lot of people struggle with accepting themselves as "good enough" for other people). I liked me! I liked the person I had become and everyone else liked me too. Not to be vain, but it was true. I had no enemies. Strange but true lol. My parents raised me right. I always put others first (not always wise I might add!), always did things for people and expected nothing in return, and was just generally nice to everyone, among other things. So why would anyone want to change me? I really don't get it.

Sometimes, I think that people try to change others because they need changes in themselves. For example,
when I am encouraged to stay at home rather than go out, it is because that person is not comfortable outside their own environment. They aren't good or comfortable with social situations so instead of going out and socializing, and bringing themselves up to your level, they would sooner bring you down to theirs. It is easier for them to change you rather than stepping outside their own comfort zone. I can understand that as at one time I used to be that person...very shy. You would never know it now, but I used to love going to dance clubs but had a great fear of somebody asking me to dance (I'm not a good dancer, just ask Kelsie, she will tell you the truth and quite possibly give you a demonstration!) It was really something if I accepted a dance invitation. But going to the club was my way of stepping out of my comfort zone. I was a lot more comfortable staying home and having friends come over...no social awkwardness to look for. Perfect! But as fate would have it, I couldn't change my friends so I was the one that needed to change. So that's why today I am a very social person, love to just hang out with people wherever, and everybody loves me (just ask D!) I like the person who I have evolved into, and I don't want that to change. I just want to make this one last point. To all those people that get married and think they will be able to change their significant other after they tie the knot, THINK AGAIN! You fell in love with the person that they were, not the person you want them to be. So if you feel you need to change them, then maybe you should have kept looking for that ideal person. Keep in mind nobody's perfect, not even you!

So, if you love me, love everything about me...my impulsiveness, my quirky idiosincrecies, my stubborness, and my undying love for my friends and family who I will do anything for at the spur of the moment, no questions asked. Please don't ever ask me to change who I am, I like me the way I am and I hope that is good enough for you too :) Besides, aren't our differences what makes us who we are as individuals?

Talk To Me!

Ok, so as much as you try, you just can't be friends with everybody. You are genuinely nice to them in hopes that they accept you for "one of their own". You build up a good relationship with them, on solid ground, bff's as you will, and share all your joys and frustrations about your family, your partner, your plans for the future and maybe just every day stuff that bothers you. Best friends will be there for you through everything and not be judgemental or biased. They will give you an objective view on a situation when sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. They are truly indispensable. But once in a while, something happens, and you really never know why, and the friendship goes sour.

One day you are best buds, telling each other everything, and the next moment, your friend won't even talk to you. Have you ever had this happen to you? Because if you have, then you know how frustrating this can be when you don't know why your friend won't talk to you. Maybe you said something that made them upset and they are just mad. But when they don't tell you what they are mad about, you can't apologise to them and get the friendship back together. You totally rack your brain trying to figure what it is that you have done so that you can fix it, you go through every conversation in your mind a thousand times and still come up empty. No answers. It's frustrating because you feel guilty that you have done something, but how can that be? You are a NICE person! You would never hurt your friend in a million years! But yet, you are convinced that somehow, it must be your fault. And you know the worst part is? You ask them what is wrong, and they tell you, "Nothing" very convincingly but then they never speak to you. They avoid you like the plague, don't answer your phone calls or texts and all of a sudden, you are invisible and it's like your friendship never existed. Did you do or say something to end your friendship and not even know it? If you did, you sure would like to know so that you can do whatever it takes to right the wrong, apologise, beg for forgiveness, or whatever. Not knowing what you did  or said just drives you mental. Trying day after day to figure it out yourself, well that will just drive you to the loony bin. For all of us "nice" people out there, we just want things to be the way things were. We don't want people to hate us, that's our worst fear. We want everyone to like us and we want to be everybody's friend. We don't like confrontation because we don't want to be a "mean" person if we disagree with something. So we don't like fighting and arguing either. I know I don't like being mad at someone, that uses too much energy and there's a lot of valuable time wasted being angry. We just want everyone to be happy and get along! So if you are in a friendship or intimate relationship, and this is happening, please tell us why you are upset so we can deal with it and move on.

This situation happened to a friend of mine. We were both friends with this girl but more her friend than mine. One weekend, my friend came to visit me in London and we all hung out and watched a movie. Three girls, just hanging out, talking and shootin' the shit, laughing and swapping stories as we didn't get together very often. Well, somewhere in the conversation, my girlfriend said something to the other girl that got mis-interpreted and that changed everything. My girlfriend had no idea that she said something wrong because, like me, she is NICE! She wouldn't say shit if she had a mouth full of it and would never ever intentionally hurt somebody by saying something rude or derogatory. She is just one of those super nice people that wants to be friends with everyone (and really, why can't we?) and somehow she said the wrong thing. Not knowing at the time, she didn't apologise because she she wasn't aware she said anything wrong. But the other girl took what she said the wrong way and sadly, that ruined their friendship. But what was it that she said that ruined their friendship? Unfortunately she will never know. She's reached out to her but she will have no part of it. My girlfriend was heart broken, the last thing she would ever do is hurt someone like this intentionally. There was nothing more she could do except chalk it up to experience and a lesson learned (although she is still trying to figure out what that lesson is!)

So I guess what I am trying to say is, I hope that if I say anything that is inappropriate or hurtful, I hope someone tells me so that I can apologise and make it better. I would hate to lose a friendship (or relationship) because of something said on the fly. I would hope that my friendship with people would not be so easily discarded. What takes many years to build on, surely must be stronger than a slip of the tongue. Is that worth throwing away all the years (or perhaps just months) of laughter, tears and sorrows we have shared? I think not.

Family....

No one can stress the importance of family to me. To me, family is everything. Whether you believe it or not, when it comes right down to it, your family will always be there for you no matter what. Even if you have had a lot of differences between you, when it counts the most, your family is there for you, loving you unconditionally with no questions asked. Throughout my life, I have seen and experienced a lot of people that have been estranged from their parents, or siblings and yes, even their own children. For the life of me, I cannot understand how someone can go through their day...month...year without their family in their life. Who knows you better than your own family? Has been with you through thick and thin, and have seen you suffer the worst times of your life? These are also the people that have never left you, even though you may have left them, maybe even for just a moment. I thank God every day for the family that I have been blessed with, and for the awesome children who I am very proud to call my own. They make me proud to say, "these are my kids". They possess the same sense of family values that I have. I am very close to my kids and I miss them so much. When I am with them, we laugh (a lot), share our thoughts and dreams and support each other through everything. We always end each visit with tight hugs and "i love you"s. and yes, I have to admit, there are sometimes tears. I truely would be lost without them and I can't imagine them not being a part of my life. No matter what the reason is, why people are distant from their kids, would you really want to miss out on this kind of love in your life? Not me, not a chance. 

Having a great family, I somehow always want to "fix" other people's families so that they have a family as awesome as mine. I know that sounds kind of stupid but sometimes I just want to give their heads a shake and tell them what they are missing out on, all the experiences that go on in every day life, Life is too short to dwell on family issues that have gone on for years and grudges that are held for something that you can't even remember. I bet it all sounds pretty petty now doesn't it? All the time being wasted being angry at someone when you could have been sharing life's best moments. If only you had learned to forgive and forget, to move on and keep the family bond intact. You have to learn to let go of stuff and look at the good things that you have in that family. Think of all the good times that were had, not focus on the one thing that has split you apart. Because in the end, it will be your family that will be by your side, the ones you can count on and the ones that will always love you no matter what. Don't forget too, how much you will regret it, if you don't make things right. One of these days, they may not be there when you are ready to forgive, or when you finally decide to make time for them in your busy life. Life really is too short, make the most of it, and don't forget about your family. My best memories are always of my family..make them yours too :)

I would also like to point out that I am not just talking about my family, but also Darren's family that treat me like their own daughter. I feel like I belong to this family, that I matter to them and if I was no longer here, they would feel a sense of loss. They have taken me in the family and treated me the same as their own kids. They love and respect me, as I do them. I am there for them as I know they are there for me. It feels great being a part of another awesome family. It's like striking gold twice. I truely am lucky.

So, as I have been thinking a lot about my family, I have decided it's time to start a family tree. I would like to know my family roots, beyond my imediate family members. I think it would give me a better sense of who I am, where I come from and maybe it will even tell me why I am such a knucklehead, a goof and overall awesome person! lol I can't take all the credit :)

I'm Not Stupid...

Ok, I have a pet peeve that I'm sure you have experienced too. Do you ever get people treat you like you are stupid? I absolutely hate it when people think they have to tell me how to do things because they think I didn't get it the first 10 times they told me. They give you no credit for having a brain in your head. I am rather insulted by this to be honest. I consider myself a fairly smart person even though I will admit to being a little absent minded at times. That just comes with age and having too much on your mind at one time. But worse than people telling you how to do something for the umteenth time, is people trying to tell you something that you know is a down right lie. They try to make you believe something that isn't true and they think you are stupid enough to believe them. They think that maybe you will never find out the truth because you just aren't smart enough to figure it out. And if they think they have gotten away with it, it will happen over and over and over. Maybe they should stop to consider that the lie just isn't worth arguing about, that just maybe we have something better to do with our time than to fight a losing battle by calling their bluff because even if we call them on their lie, they will argue with you til they are blue in the face insisting they are right. Personally, I just can't be bothered most times to argue. But eventually we all have our breaking point. And if you think we have forgotten all the pretty little lies that we have been told, think again...they are in our memory banks for future reference. And when you least expect it, these little lies will come back to haunt you. They will be backed up with resentment, anger and frustration. All of you know what I'm talking about, and yes, we are all guilty of doing it at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, some people live their life that way, lie after lie. I can't live like that, I try to be honest and up front with people and I just wish they would give me the same respect...what goes around comes around. Next time you feel like lying to someone, realize that they aren't as stupid as you think, that they will find out the truth, and it will be you that will be tagged "the stupid one" ....something to think about isn't it?

Better To Be Pissed OFF Than Pissed ON!

Have you ever had a day when absolutely everything pisses you off? You usually don't even know why you are pissed off but it is like a domino effect. One thing in the morning will piss you off then all of a sudden, EVERYTHING pisses you off! I have days like that and it's better to just stay away from me. You can be having an absolutely fabulous day and one little thing can trigger that pissy mood. You know what I'm talking about! It can start as easily as some jerk in the morning stealing your parking spot. Or someone at Timmies getting your order wrong and you don't realize it until you are sitting at your desk at work and you take one sip of your coffee and discover there is no sugar in it and it just tastes vile. No coffee to start the day?! That would piss me off (and has!). And some of the things that piss me off, piss off a lot of other people too...tell me, have you ever been pissed off at....

 ~ people who call you only when they want something...

~ backseat drivers...

~ variant spellings, such as "lite" for "light", "thru" for "through" etc...

~ when you think of the perfect comeback hours after the argument ends...

~ suspecting that 30 years from now, red meat and cigarettes will be found to be good for you...

~ people who believe that a yellow light means speed up (Kelsie this one is for you :) )

~ when the only time you see relatives is at weddings and funerals...

~ being asked, "What do you do?" the moment after meeting someone...

~ people whose lips move when they read...

~ having to follow orders from an idiot...

~ ex-smokers who harrass others about quitting...

~ when greeting card companies invent new holidays just to sell more cards (ie: Bosses Day)

~ people who shouldn't wear tank tops but do...

~ shoppers who block the aisles in super markets...

~ the disgusting slime on canned ham...

~ people who expose a lot of crack when they squat...

~ discovering someone is making a fortune from an idea you mentioned off-handedly...

~ cliques you can't join...

~ breaking all your New Year's resolutions by January 2nd...

~ people who give only because they expect to get something in return...

~ when you notice green fur on your sandwich in mid-bite...

~ when you have a powerful telescope but ugly neighbours..

~ hitting every red light when you are late...

~ food with zero fat, zero cholesterol and zero taste...

~ thirty-five year olds who still live at home..

~ people who can't take a hint..

~ slow fast food...

Next time you get pissed off, remember, it is better to be pissed OFF than pissed ON!