Life Lessons

If we took time to stop and think, and apply all of these rules to our personal lives, life would be so much simpler....something to think about...always remember Rule #25...

45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Hurry Up Already!

Why is it that everyone is always in a hurry for things to happen? I have always been in a rush for the good things to happen but when it finally happened, I had totally missed the journey of getting there.

In the last few years, I have learned to be a little more patient, but admittedly, I still struggle with having patience. I have always wanted things to happen instantaneously....losing weight was always a big one...I wanted to lose 20 pounds in the first week of dieting but I didn't want to put forth the work. I soon found out that if I wanted it to happen, I had to slowly change the way I eat, add exercise and be patient. Eventually the weight did come off but it happened slowly and steadily. A good philosophy to have in many avenues of life.

Many people try to rush love...love cannot be rushed. You can't just make it happen. It has to build up slowly over time and there has to be chemistry, a mental connection that leaves you wanting more of that person. It makes you happy with a constant smile on your face. And even though you have just met them, you wonder how you have survived your whole life without them. You get totally infatuated with the person and want to spend every waking moment with them. You put your life, and everyone in it, on the back burner just to make yourself available for this person. You would do anything to make them attracted to you. You have been waiting your whole life for this person and you want to make up for lost time. You are in hurry to have the perfect life...you forget that while you are waiting for this glorious bliss, real life is happening all around you. Take your time and let it happen the way it was meant to. When the time is right, it will happen. In the mean time, take a breath, anticipate your next encounter, and enjoy the journey...

 

#100HAPPYDAYS

     Can you be happy for

               

100 days

                                       

   in a row?

Sounds easy right? Everyone has some reason to smile every day. But when we put ourselves to the test, we forget that it is the little things that make us smile, that remind us why we get out of bed every morning and why we keep moving on.I have been challenged by my friend, and fellow blogger (Your Average Joe) Mike Sealy, to participate in the challenge and to find and document my own 100 happy days.

Generally I am a pretty happy person but we all have days that we would sooner stay curled up on the couch with a good book and let the day breeze by without us being a part of it. The challenge for me will be to remember the things that make me happy and not to focus on the negative. I will forewarn you, you will see a lot of pictures of my dog Maui, and when possible, my kids. These are my happiest thoughts. So bare with me as you view my daily photo for the next 100 days, they will most likely be boring to you but for me..they spell happiness :) At the end of this 100 day challenge of self induced happiness, I will edit this post to report how my life has changed by focusing on the good things in life. I would strongly encourage anyone who is feeling down or depressed to challenge themselves to this, it will surely brighten even the darkest of days. In the meantime DON'T FORGET TO BE HAPPY!

Success...

 
                     “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”
                           ― John Lennon


So, today I celebrated my 52nd birthday. I have always thought that by the time I turned 50, I would have everything I needed to be able to retire...that I would be financially stable and have the possessions I think I need ( a new car, a modest home and a nice little nest egg). Truth is, I don't have any of these. It sort of makes me feel like I have not been successful in my life, that I have not been focused enough to be where I want to be or should be, and that somehow I have just floated through life.As this may seem true, I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to be doing whether it made sense or not. Why are some people so successful while other people like myself, just float through life?

I'm sure that I am not the only one that thinks like this. So I want to remind all of those people, including me, that success comes in many forms. While some people are successful financially. others like me, are successful in a different way. Although I don't have that fancy house or drive a new car or have a nest egg for the future, I have awesome kids. I can honestly say, they were, and continue to be, my biggest success. I believe I have been a success as a mother because it is evident in my children and how they've turned out. I have been a success as a friend because of all the truly wonderful friends I have, and you have to be a great friend in order to have great friends. And I have been a success as a person, as a woman, simply because I would do anything for anybody, and I don't take people for granted. I live by the Golden Rule and practice it every day.

So next time you feel that you have no successes to celebrate, remember all the things you have accomplished in your life, the important things. Financial freedom can go as quickly as it came, but a successful way of life is irreplaceable. It is that way of life that lives on in your children, it is that success that is celebrated...inspire others to be as successful as you :)

A New Journey

I guess there comes a time when you have to say goodbye to your kids. Not literally, they just grow up over night and all of a sudden they are moving in their own direction. There's nothing you can do about it, it just happens. Right now, I am dealing with Rob and his move to Halifax, Nova Scotia...he is moving with Erica so she can go to school at NSCAD. She is so lucky to have Rob in her life and she has said over and over how lucky she is, she loves him, and I know he is in good hands :)

I know I am not the only person that is going to miss him when he leaves next week. Kelsie is going to miss her brother...her best friend. Even though they haven't always got along (what brothers and sisters do?) they know they are always there for each other no matter what. Her heart will have a huge hole in it when he leaves. There's just something about having a hug that no phone call can emulate. It's great to be able to talk to someone, but having them here in person is the best. I for one, will miss his bear hugs and sense of humour.

                                                                   ~ best friends~

I don't really know how to express in words just how I feel about his move but I imagine that there are a lot of people that can put themselves in my shoes and know how I feel. I know that I am not the only person that has had a child or sibling or parent move away, across the country or sometimes across the world, but right now I feel like I am the only one. I know I am just being selfish but I will get better at it, I promise :) After all, Darren's parents came to Canada and left him in England when he was about 17, that must have been very hard for him, and my girlfriend had both of her sons do numerous tours in Afghanistan and Iraq not even knowing if they would return. With the grace of God, they returned and are now at home. Rob too will return at some point, but even if he and Erica decide to make Halifax their new home, I will always be here for him if he decides to come back. In the meantime, I really do hope for them all the luck and fun in their new journey.

                                                         ~a bond no one can break~





So Rob and Erica, on behalf of all the family, especially me, BB and Darren, we really do wish you the best on your new adventure. It's going to be an awesome experience for the both of you! It's beautiful in Halifax and change is always good for the soul. You guys will really be missed!!

                                                          ~ geez  I will miss this lol ~
                                   

                                                       ~ BB and Bob...best buds~

It's time to make new memories of the next chapter in your life. Good Luck Rob & Erica! Love you!

I Am My Mother's Daughter...

Well, it was inevitable. It's true what they say, you wind up just like your mother. Luckily for me, that's an awesome thing! As Mother's Day came and went, it got me thinking about what being a mother is all about.

When people say to me, "You're just like your mother" I take that as a real compliment. My mom hasn't always had an easy life (well, never actually). There are 5 kids in our family, 7 if you count the ones that they lost before my oldest brother was born. Personally, I can't imagine losing either one of my children. I would be absolutely devastated. Somehow, my parents dealt with their losses and trucked on to having all of us. My dad always held down at least 2 jobs to support his growning family as my mom stayed home to raise us. For many years there was always two kids in diapers at the same time. There was always a meal on the table at supper time when my dad came in from work. The house was always neatly kept, although not always perfect. It had the so-called "lived in" look. We didn't care, we had food in our bellies and a roof over our head. We didn't always have a phone, but we had each other to talk to. We didn't always have the most high-tech toys but we had a lake at our front door. We made our own fun, and we loved each others' company. Many a day when we lived on the lake, all of us kids would haul the life guard's stand way out into the water and jump off of it. Only to watch the life guards haul it back in the next day. This routine never, ever got old. As a kid, I remember going camping..a lot! One summer, we camped for the whole summer (at least it felt like it!) It was so awesome! I have memories of going swimming at the beach and we would take our blow up floating thingies. My mom always hated them because she had a huge fear of us floating down the river and being gone forever. As a mom, I know how she  must have felt. If you ask Kelsie and Rob, I am sure they will tell you that I have always been paranoid about things like that all the time as they were growing up. Who knows, maybe that's why we are all still here?! So, I guess I am turning out just like my mother.

One of my mother's best things that she likes is to have all her family mulling around her. We recently had a get together for her, for her 80th birthday. It was great to see her so happy. And it was all because of us. It wasn't because of all the food, endless as usual as it is at all our gatherings lol and it wasn't the gifts that she received, although she did like her necklace we got her! It was simply the fact that all her children and grand-children were there with her to celebrate her birthday. Hell, she would have been just as happy if it was Groundhog Day! She just loves, loves, loves her family around. I am the same way. Just give me my family around me, and of course my D and Maui, and I am one happy woman. I forget about all my money troubles and my stresses and frustrations at work, and I am right in my glory. Nothing else really matters except the important people in my life. That's what gets you through everything and keeps your glass half full :) And as much as I am my mother's daughter, so is Kelsie. She is definitely her mother's daughter too. Family is, and always will be #1. Nothing wrong with that...

So for all of you that are told that "You are just like your mother!", just smile a big grin and say "Thanks!"

I hope I am doing my mom proud by raising a daughter just like me :O) I had an awesome teacher...

Don't Try To Change Me....I Like Me!

If you think you can try to change me at this point in my life, GOOD LUCK! I have been set in my ways for quite some time and I don't plan on changing who I am or what I am all about now :)

A long time ago I was involved with someone (who shall remain nameless to avoid hurting anyone's feelings), and slowly throughout the relationship, he proceeded to mould me into the person he wanted me to be. I guess it was a control thing, I don't know. And it worked for awhile I must admit. Slowly I saw parts of me slipping away. I stopped hanging out with friends, my way of thinking evolved into his way of thinking and my impulsiveness just kind of disappeared. The woman I was, was not the same as the woman I was becoming. At first I didn't really notice it because I was caught up in the relationship and my underlying need to make people happy, I always want to please people. I forgot to put me first...eventually friends stopped calling me and I stopped going out after work with people because I was expected to be home. Not wanting to rock the boat and upset him, I just did what he expected. I lost who I was, the person that he loved when we first met. The person he pursued to no end. Maybe he liked the challenge of the chase and not the prize at the end. I just don't know. I felt guilty if I went out, and if I did, I was always the first to leave so I could get home in decent time. I had come to realize that I liked the person who I was (a lot of people struggle with accepting themselves as "good enough" for other people). I liked me! I liked the person I had become and everyone else liked me too. Not to be vain, but it was true. I had no enemies. Strange but true lol. My parents raised me right. I always put others first (not always wise I might add!), always did things for people and expected nothing in return, and was just generally nice to everyone, among other things. So why would anyone want to change me? I really don't get it.

Sometimes, I think that people try to change others because they need changes in themselves. For example,
when I am encouraged to stay at home rather than go out, it is because that person is not comfortable outside their own environment. They aren't good or comfortable with social situations so instead of going out and socializing, and bringing themselves up to your level, they would sooner bring you down to theirs. It is easier for them to change you rather than stepping outside their own comfort zone. I can understand that as at one time I used to be that person...very shy. You would never know it now, but I used to love going to dance clubs but had a great fear of somebody asking me to dance (I'm not a good dancer, just ask Kelsie, she will tell you the truth and quite possibly give you a demonstration!) It was really something if I accepted a dance invitation. But going to the club was my way of stepping out of my comfort zone. I was a lot more comfortable staying home and having friends come over...no social awkwardness to look for. Perfect! But as fate would have it, I couldn't change my friends so I was the one that needed to change. So that's why today I am a very social person, love to just hang out with people wherever, and everybody loves me (just ask D!) I like the person who I have evolved into, and I don't want that to change. I just want to make this one last point. To all those people that get married and think they will be able to change their significant other after they tie the knot, THINK AGAIN! You fell in love with the person that they were, not the person you want them to be. So if you feel you need to change them, then maybe you should have kept looking for that ideal person. Keep in mind nobody's perfect, not even you!

So, if you love me, love everything about me...my impulsiveness, my quirky idiosincrecies, my stubborness, and my undying love for my friends and family who I will do anything for at the spur of the moment, no questions asked. Please don't ever ask me to change who I am, I like me the way I am and I hope that is good enough for you too :) Besides, aren't our differences what makes us who we are as individuals?

Talk To Me!

Ok, so as much as you try, you just can't be friends with everybody. You are genuinely nice to them in hopes that they accept you for "one of their own". You build up a good relationship with them, on solid ground, bff's as you will, and share all your joys and frustrations about your family, your partner, your plans for the future and maybe just every day stuff that bothers you. Best friends will be there for you through everything and not be judgemental or biased. They will give you an objective view on a situation when sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. They are truly indispensable. But once in a while, something happens, and you really never know why, and the friendship goes sour.

One day you are best buds, telling each other everything, and the next moment, your friend won't even talk to you. Have you ever had this happen to you? Because if you have, then you know how frustrating this can be when you don't know why your friend won't talk to you. Maybe you said something that made them upset and they are just mad. But when they don't tell you what they are mad about, you can't apologise to them and get the friendship back together. You totally rack your brain trying to figure what it is that you have done so that you can fix it, you go through every conversation in your mind a thousand times and still come up empty. No answers. It's frustrating because you feel guilty that you have done something, but how can that be? You are a NICE person! You would never hurt your friend in a million years! But yet, you are convinced that somehow, it must be your fault. And you know the worst part is? You ask them what is wrong, and they tell you, "Nothing" very convincingly but then they never speak to you. They avoid you like the plague, don't answer your phone calls or texts and all of a sudden, you are invisible and it's like your friendship never existed. Did you do or say something to end your friendship and not even know it? If you did, you sure would like to know so that you can do whatever it takes to right the wrong, apologise, beg for forgiveness, or whatever. Not knowing what you did  or said just drives you mental. Trying day after day to figure it out yourself, well that will just drive you to the loony bin. For all of us "nice" people out there, we just want things to be the way things were. We don't want people to hate us, that's our worst fear. We want everyone to like us and we want to be everybody's friend. We don't like confrontation because we don't want to be a "mean" person if we disagree with something. So we don't like fighting and arguing either. I know I don't like being mad at someone, that uses too much energy and there's a lot of valuable time wasted being angry. We just want everyone to be happy and get along! So if you are in a friendship or intimate relationship, and this is happening, please tell us why you are upset so we can deal with it and move on.

This situation happened to a friend of mine. We were both friends with this girl but more her friend than mine. One weekend, my friend came to visit me in London and we all hung out and watched a movie. Three girls, just hanging out, talking and shootin' the shit, laughing and swapping stories as we didn't get together very often. Well, somewhere in the conversation, my girlfriend said something to the other girl that got mis-interpreted and that changed everything. My girlfriend had no idea that she said something wrong because, like me, she is NICE! She wouldn't say shit if she had a mouth full of it and would never ever intentionally hurt somebody by saying something rude or derogatory. She is just one of those super nice people that wants to be friends with everyone (and really, why can't we?) and somehow she said the wrong thing. Not knowing at the time, she didn't apologise because she she wasn't aware she said anything wrong. But the other girl took what she said the wrong way and sadly, that ruined their friendship. But what was it that she said that ruined their friendship? Unfortunately she will never know. She's reached out to her but she will have no part of it. My girlfriend was heart broken, the last thing she would ever do is hurt someone like this intentionally. There was nothing more she could do except chalk it up to experience and a lesson learned (although she is still trying to figure out what that lesson is!)

So I guess what I am trying to say is, I hope that if I say anything that is inappropriate or hurtful, I hope someone tells me so that I can apologise and make it better. I would hate to lose a friendship (or relationship) because of something said on the fly. I would hope that my friendship with people would not be so easily discarded. What takes many years to build on, surely must be stronger than a slip of the tongue. Is that worth throwing away all the years (or perhaps just months) of laughter, tears and sorrows we have shared? I think not.

Family....

No one can stress the importance of family to me. To me, family is everything. Whether you believe it or not, when it comes right down to it, your family will always be there for you no matter what. Even if you have had a lot of differences between you, when it counts the most, your family is there for you, loving you unconditionally with no questions asked. Throughout my life, I have seen and experienced a lot of people that have been estranged from their parents, or siblings and yes, even their own children. For the life of me, I cannot understand how someone can go through their day...month...year without their family in their life. Who knows you better than your own family? Has been with you through thick and thin, and have seen you suffer the worst times of your life? These are also the people that have never left you, even though you may have left them, maybe even for just a moment. I thank God every day for the family that I have been blessed with, and for the awesome children who I am very proud to call my own. They make me proud to say, "these are my kids". They possess the same sense of family values that I have. I am very close to my kids and I miss them so much. When I am with them, we laugh (a lot), share our thoughts and dreams and support each other through everything. We always end each visit with tight hugs and "i love you"s. and yes, I have to admit, there are sometimes tears. I truely would be lost without them and I can't imagine them not being a part of my life. No matter what the reason is, why people are distant from their kids, would you really want to miss out on this kind of love in your life? Not me, not a chance. 

Having a great family, I somehow always want to "fix" other people's families so that they have a family as awesome as mine. I know that sounds kind of stupid but sometimes I just want to give their heads a shake and tell them what they are missing out on, all the experiences that go on in every day life, Life is too short to dwell on family issues that have gone on for years and grudges that are held for something that you can't even remember. I bet it all sounds pretty petty now doesn't it? All the time being wasted being angry at someone when you could have been sharing life's best moments. If only you had learned to forgive and forget, to move on and keep the family bond intact. You have to learn to let go of stuff and look at the good things that you have in that family. Think of all the good times that were had, not focus on the one thing that has split you apart. Because in the end, it will be your family that will be by your side, the ones you can count on and the ones that will always love you no matter what. Don't forget too, how much you will regret it, if you don't make things right. One of these days, they may not be there when you are ready to forgive, or when you finally decide to make time for them in your busy life. Life really is too short, make the most of it, and don't forget about your family. My best memories are always of my family..make them yours too :)

I would also like to point out that I am not just talking about my family, but also Darren's family that treat me like their own daughter. I feel like I belong to this family, that I matter to them and if I was no longer here, they would feel a sense of loss. They have taken me in the family and treated me the same as their own kids. They love and respect me, as I do them. I am there for them as I know they are there for me. It feels great being a part of another awesome family. It's like striking gold twice. I truely am lucky.

So, as I have been thinking a lot about my family, I have decided it's time to start a family tree. I would like to know my family roots, beyond my imediate family members. I think it would give me a better sense of who I am, where I come from and maybe it will even tell me why I am such a knucklehead, a goof and overall awesome person! lol I can't take all the credit :)

I'm Not Stupid...

Ok, I have a pet peeve that I'm sure you have experienced too. Do you ever get people treat you like you are stupid? I absolutely hate it when people think they have to tell me how to do things because they think I didn't get it the first 10 times they told me. They give you no credit for having a brain in your head. I am rather insulted by this to be honest. I consider myself a fairly smart person even though I will admit to being a little absent minded at times. That just comes with age and having too much on your mind at one time. But worse than people telling you how to do something for the umteenth time, is people trying to tell you something that you know is a down right lie. They try to make you believe something that isn't true and they think you are stupid enough to believe them. They think that maybe you will never find out the truth because you just aren't smart enough to figure it out. And if they think they have gotten away with it, it will happen over and over and over. Maybe they should stop to consider that the lie just isn't worth arguing about, that just maybe we have something better to do with our time than to fight a losing battle by calling their bluff because even if we call them on their lie, they will argue with you til they are blue in the face insisting they are right. Personally, I just can't be bothered most times to argue. But eventually we all have our breaking point. And if you think we have forgotten all the pretty little lies that we have been told, think again...they are in our memory banks for future reference. And when you least expect it, these little lies will come back to haunt you. They will be backed up with resentment, anger and frustration. All of you know what I'm talking about, and yes, we are all guilty of doing it at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, some people live their life that way, lie after lie. I can't live like that, I try to be honest and up front with people and I just wish they would give me the same respect...what goes around comes around. Next time you feel like lying to someone, realize that they aren't as stupid as you think, that they will find out the truth, and it will be you that will be tagged "the stupid one" ....something to think about isn't it?

Better To Be Pissed OFF Than Pissed ON!

Have you ever had a day when absolutely everything pisses you off? You usually don't even know why you are pissed off but it is like a domino effect. One thing in the morning will piss you off then all of a sudden, EVERYTHING pisses you off! I have days like that and it's better to just stay away from me. You can be having an absolutely fabulous day and one little thing can trigger that pissy mood. You know what I'm talking about! It can start as easily as some jerk in the morning stealing your parking spot. Or someone at Timmies getting your order wrong and you don't realize it until you are sitting at your desk at work and you take one sip of your coffee and discover there is no sugar in it and it just tastes vile. No coffee to start the day?! That would piss me off (and has!). And some of the things that piss me off, piss off a lot of other people too...tell me, have you ever been pissed off at....

 ~ people who call you only when they want something...

~ backseat drivers...

~ variant spellings, such as "lite" for "light", "thru" for "through" etc...

~ when you think of the perfect comeback hours after the argument ends...

~ suspecting that 30 years from now, red meat and cigarettes will be found to be good for you...

~ people who believe that a yellow light means speed up (Kelsie this one is for you :) )

~ when the only time you see relatives is at weddings and funerals...

~ being asked, "What do you do?" the moment after meeting someone...

~ people whose lips move when they read...

~ having to follow orders from an idiot...

~ ex-smokers who harrass others about quitting...

~ when greeting card companies invent new holidays just to sell more cards (ie: Bosses Day)

~ people who shouldn't wear tank tops but do...

~ shoppers who block the aisles in super markets...

~ the disgusting slime on canned ham...

~ people who expose a lot of crack when they squat...

~ discovering someone is making a fortune from an idea you mentioned off-handedly...

~ cliques you can't join...

~ breaking all your New Year's resolutions by January 2nd...

~ people who give only because they expect to get something in return...

~ when you notice green fur on your sandwich in mid-bite...

~ when you have a powerful telescope but ugly neighbours..

~ hitting every red light when you are late...

~ food with zero fat, zero cholesterol and zero taste...

~ thirty-five year olds who still live at home..

~ people who can't take a hint..

~ slow fast food...

Next time you get pissed off, remember, it is better to be pissed OFF than pissed ON!

New Year, New Attitude

New Year's Resolutions - I make them every year, only to make the same ones when the next year rolls around! This year, I have decided not to make any New Year's Resolutions, but instead I am going to focus on things that I should STOP doing to myself. My usual resolutions, like losing weight, being more financially stable, and eating healthier, will all come to be reality if I can focus on the things that continue to sabotage my well being. Thank you Allison for posting this on Facebook, it was a reminder of just how hard we can be on ourselves. Remember to keep the glass half full. Think of all the good things we all have to offer and make 2012 the year we look at ourselves the way others see us rather than the way we see ourselves. We ARE good enough and we ARE more important than we realize! I'm am focusing on #22, Stop overlooking  the beauty of small moments. These small moments usually turn out to be pretty big ones and sometimes I have to remind myself of that! If I can focus on even a few of these things, I know my life would become a lot better :)

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curve balls are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. 

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. 
You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right. 

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!

Let's make this the best one yet!

The Jar

Another Christmas has come and gone. So much importance these days is put on buying things and spending a lot of money on frivolous gifts. My favourite gift this year, was one that came from the heart. It was a gift from Kelsie, a jar, all decorated with ribbons and stars, and Kelsie's signature decorations...googly eyes! In the jar, are little pieces of paper all folded up with inspirational quotes and sayings on them. I want to share these with you all, and really think about them as you read them and how the meaning of the quote is reflected in your own life:  

~ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

~ Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

~ I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

~ Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

~ Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius; and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

~ How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

~ Sometimes life isn't about the end. It's not always about tomorrow and the day after that, what we achieve over the years and how we leave the world. Sometimes it's about today. Any of us could die tomorrow regardless of the horde. We could get sick or be injured or anything else. That's the risk we take waking up each morning and stepping outside.

~ Everyone faces challenges in life. It's a matter of how you learn to overcome them and using them to your advantage.

~ You are good enough.

~ In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

~ The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.

~ You must realize, knowing everything won't do you a bit of good unless you use it to put beauty in this world.

~ Life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is, you get to decide how you are going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. They ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

~ Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.

~ People should be able to say how they feel - how they really feel - not, you know, some words that some strangers put in their mouths.

~ Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don't spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.

~ There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

~ Love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart.

~ Even on a cloudy day, I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun.

~ Every little thing is going to be alright,

~ Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you!

~ Even the best fall down sometimes.

~ You were born an original. Don't die a copy.

~ Just be yourself, you are wonderful.

~ I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all, I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

~ Next time you think of beautiful things, don't forget to count yourself in.

~ You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

~ You are more important than you realize.

~ Be the change you wish to see in the world.

~ If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.

~ Don't worry, be happy.

~ Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown.

~ Fuck everything. Beer time? :)

~ You are loved.

Never under estimate the meaning of a gift made from the heart. They are the ones that you will always remember. I know this has inspired me to be more creative in gift giving. I will be opening my mind more and my wallet less, and hopefully you will be inspired to do the same :)

Christmas

Christmas....the time of year when we all run around like mad men trying to buy the "perfect" gift. My question is, is there really ever a perfect gift? It's hard to find a perfect gift for people when you are always looking in the wrong place for it...the local Walmart. The perfect gift isn't something that dies when the batteries run out, or is replaced when a newer, faster version comes on the market. The perfect gift doesn't come from a box or bag or from a fancy store. There really is no "perfect" gift that you can buy. Too many people people under estimate the value of their time. Time spent with families and friends is invaluable to those that receive it. Christmas for me is not about what I am getting but rather, who I am going to be spending the time with. I am so excited to have Kelsie come down and spend Christmas with Darren and I. Having her here will bring lots of love, laughter and really good times. It's going to be FUN! People now a days are too busy finding the perfect gift that they forget what the season is all about..FUN! And I am looking forward to Christmas Day with Darren's family over for dinner and Boxing Day when we will be with my family for a Christmas brunch. So, it's not about the gifts but instead being with those you love. So Christmas for me will include family, food, booze (pina coladas) and memories. Shouldn't yours be the same?

I just want to wish all my family and friends a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Angels Among Us...

I just want to take a brief moment to remember someone special, my brother-in-law Bob. The reason I am remebering him now is that on Thursday, December 8th, he will have been gone for a year. December 8th also happens to be my birthday. It was forever changed last year when Bob was taken from us. I do feel that he is in a better place and finally feels like his old self again. He struggled for a long time with his health and it finally got the better of him. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my sister Mitch, and how she must be missing him. She is one of the strongest and most generous people I know and I envy that about her. So on Thursday, when everyone will be wishing me a Happy Birthday, I will be thinking of Mitch, and how I wish that there was some way I could bring Bob back...there truely are angels among us...Cheers to a great guy :)

Never Be Afraid To Say What You Feel

So many times I wish I would have had the courage to speak my mind. I'm the type of person that avoids confrontation if at all possible. I avoid talking about something because I am afraid of the reaction that I will get or the argument I might start. Sometimes I think the lack of courage and the inability to speak up, has caused me to be resentful, angry and even distant from people I love or have loved in the past. I am afraid to hurt people so I don't say anything when something is bothering me. As a result, I am the one who is angry and resentful, whereas the situation could have been resolved by talking about it and the anger and resentment could all have been avoided. I am not talking about anything in particular that is going on with me today, just lessons I have learned in the past. I have gotten better about talking about things, but even now, I am hesitant to bring something up because people are just sensitive by nature, especially when they feel like they are being attacked, or picked on. That is never my intention. Communication is the key to any happy relationship no matter who the relationship is with..parents, siblings or partners. Nothing can ever get resolved if concerns are never addressed.

I guess there are a lot of things that I could do better but one big thing is talking about things that bother me. I can never seem to avoid hurting people by talking about these things. For instance, not long ago, my kids weren't getting along because of something one of them did. I killed me to see them not talking knowing how much they love each other and how important they are to each other. Whenever I brought up the subject, feelings got hurt and anger just ran rampid. It didn't matter what I said, it was always the wrong thing. It hurt a lot and made me sad knowing that there was nothing I could do to make the situation better. They had to resolve it on their own. The wait for that to happen was unbearable. If they had just talked about the situation, rather than avoiding the issue, they would have been a lot happier a lot faster. Once the problem was addressed, it was resolved and life got back to normal. All those months of anger and hatred just do not make any sense. It was time wasted. All is good now, but what if this had gone on for years, so many memories would never have happened. I hope they have both learned from this.  

So take my advice and adopt my motto: LIFE'S TOO SHORT! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!
You will be glad you did :)

The Glass ~ Half EMPTY or Half FULL?

Life certainly has a way of interfering with your plans. As you know, my belief is that everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason. How you react to the things that happen is entirely up to you and will determine your attitude and outlook in life. Is your glass half empty or half full?

Is the glass half empty or half full? is a common expression to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism (half full) or pessimism (half empty). There has been a lot of things that have happened in my life to make me feel like my glass was always half empty. I quite often thought, "When would all the good stuff happen to me?"  and "Why do other people win the lottery when I am the one that needs it?" You know the kind of thoughts I mean. You have had them yourself. And everyone you know has had them.

As a rule, I am usually a pretty optimistic person. Always smiling and making conversation as if I didn't have a care in the world, like everything was fantastic. Truth is, things get me down the same as everyone else. I start to worry that I can't please everybody. Money is always tight so that means that if I want to do something nice for someone just because I want to, I can't. This bothers me. I have always been the type of person that likes to do things for other people just so they will be happy, and that their day will be just a little better for it. I like to act on my ideas and thoughts, pay it forward as you will, just because I know it would make that person feel good. I would love to send people flowers for no reason at all, buy a round of drinks for my friends when we are out, or even just say, "Here's $20, you need it more than me". Because right now I can't do that, the things I was accustomed to doing, sometimes I feel my glass has a leak. I know things will get better because I always worry too much and things always turn out fine. The important things in life I already have and always will have....my glass really is half full...

~ I have an awesome, awesome family and kids, boyfriend who loves me and takes great care of me, and Maui who keeps my glass full just by being here with those big brown eyes :)
~ I have a job that is full time with benefits and I work with two awesome ladies who always look out for me and make me feel as if I matter.
~ My health is pretty good. Although I feel a lot of aches and pains, luckily I have not ever been diagnosed with anything serious.
~Money, although it is not overly abundant, I have a boyfriend that makes sure I have everything I need. There is always food in the apartment, a roof over my head, Maui is well taken care of, and if I need money for something he always finds it. And if I do have money, then if you need it, it's yours.
~I have the most awesome friends a girl could wish for, and I would do anything for any one of them, unless that required money then we might have a problem lol.

There are so many things I could be negative about, with Christmas coming up and not knowing where money is going to come from to buy presents, food or to travel. But I am keeping in mind what I do have...a Half Full Glass...

Pay It Forward....100 RANDOM ACTS of KINDNESS

Have you ever been walking by some construction workers on a hot day and thought to yourself, "I am glad that's not me working in that heat" or walk by someone sitting at a bus stop waiting for their bus home at the end of the day and something about them catches your eye, maybe their outfit or their hair cut or even just the way they smiled at you? So many times in my life I have thought about people in their every day life, and how, even for a split moment, somethng about them has made me stop and realize that a kind word or gesture can go a long way. I am sure the construction workers would have appreciated some ice cold bottles of water and why is it that when the person at the bus stop caught my eye, I didn't go up to them and tell them they looked good? Because I, like many others, do not act on these thoughts, even though they could literally make someone's day...I am going to try to act on these thoughts more often. Will you?

Whether you realize it or not, what you say to people can have a huge impact on their day, perhaps even their life. These days, so many people have a tough life and they hide behind a colourful facade. They put on a brave face and only a trained eye can see past the make up and piercings and wild hair to reveal the true person underneath. A friend of mine once walked past a person with a colourful mohawk and piercings. She loved his hair and went up to him and told him that his hair looked absolutely awesome. Well that comment just made his day. The walls came down and for a moment, he didn't feel the generation gap between them. He started talking to her about his hair and seemed to be grinning from ear to ear. Do you think she made his day? I can guarantee you, he was probably thinking of my friend the rest of the day. There are so many ways to make an impression in someone's life, all you have to do to get started is act on it! Pay It Forward!

100 IDEAS FOR KINDNESS

1. Deliver fresh-baked cookies to city workers.
2. Collect goods for a food bank.
3. Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.
4. Garden clubs can make floral arrangements for senior centers, nursing homes, hospitals, police stations, or shut-ins.
5. Adopt a student who needs a friend, checking in periodically to see how things are going.
6. Volunteer to be a tutor in a school.
7. Extend a hand to someone in need. Give your full attention and simply listen.
8. Merchants can donate a percentage of receipts for the week to a special cause.
9. Bring coworkers a special treat.
10. Students can clean classrooms for the custodian.
11. Buy a stranger a free pizza.
12. Distribute lollipops to kids.
13. Sing at a nursing home.
14. Offer a couple of hours of baby-sitting to parents. 15. Slip paper hearts that say “It’s Random Acts of Kindness Week! Have a great day!” under the windshield wipers of parked cars.
16. Have a charity day at work, with employees bringing nonperishable food items to donate.
17. Serve refreshments to customers.
18. Draw names at school or work, and have people bring a small gift or food treat for their secret pal.
19. Remember the bereaved with phone calls, cards, plants, and food.
20. Treat someone to fresh fruit.
21. Pay a compliment at least once a day.
22. Call or visit a homebound person.
23. Hand out balloons to passersby.
24. Give free sodas to motorists.
25. Be a good neighbor. Take over a baked treat or stop by to say “Hello.”
26. Transport someone who can’t drive.
27. Mow a neighbor’s grass.
28. Say something nice to everyone you meet today.
29. Send a treat to a school or day-care center.
30. Volunteer at an agency that needs help.
31. Wipe rainwater off shopping carts or hold umbrellas for shoppers on the way to their cars.
32. Give the gift of your smile.
33. Send home a note telling parents something their child did well.
34. Adopt a homeless pet at the humane society.
35. Organize a scout troop or service club to help people with packages at the mall or grocery.
36. Host special programs or speakers at libraries or bookstores.
37. Offer to answer the phone for the school secretary for ten minutes.
38. Volunteer to read to students in the classroom.
39. Write notes of appreciation and bring flowers or goodies to teachers or other important people, such as the principal, nurse, custodian, and secretary.
40. Incorporate kindness into the curriculum at area schools, day care centers, or children’s classes in faith organizations.
41. Give a hug to a friend.
42. Tell your children why you love them.
43. Write a note to your mother/father and tell them why they are special.
44. Pat someone on the back.
45. Write a thank-you note to a mentor or someone who has influenced your life in a positive way.
46. Give coffee to people on their way to work in the morning.
47. Donate time at a senior center.
48. Give blood.
49. Visit hospitals with smiles, treats, and friendly conversation for patients.
50. Stop by a nursing home, and visit a resident with no family nearby.
51. Plant flowers in your neighbor’s flower box.
52. Give another driver your parking spot.
53. Leave a treat or handmade note of thanks for a delivery person or mail carrier.
54. Give free car washes.
55. Clean graffiti from neighborhood walls and buildings.
56. Tell your boss that you think he/she does a good job.
57. Tell your employees how much you appreciate their work.
58. Let your staff leave work an hour early.
59. Have a clean-up party in the park.
60. Tell a bus or taxi driver how much you appreciate their driving.
61. Have everyone in your office draw the name of a Random Acts of Kindness buddy out of a hat and do a kind act for their buddy that day or week.
62. Give a pair of tickets to a baseball game or concert to a stranger.
63. Leave an extra big tip for the waitperson.
64. Drop off a plant, cookies, or donuts to the police or fire department.
65. Open the door for another person.
66. Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through.
67. Write a note to the boss of someone who has helped you, praising the employee.
68. Leave a bouquet of flowers on the desk of a colleague at work with whom you don’t normally get along.
69. Call an estranged family member.
70. Volunteer to fix up an elderly couple’s home.
71. Pay for the person behind you in the movie line.
72. Give flowers to be delivered with meal delivery programs.
73. Give toys to the children at the shelter or safe house.
74. Give friends and family kindness coupons they can redeem for kind favors.
75. Be a friend to a new student or coworker.
76. Renew an old friendship by sending a letter or small gift to someone you haven’t talked with in a long time.
77. For one week, act on every single thought of generosity that arises spontaneously in your heart, and notice what happens as a consequence.
78. Offer to return a shopping cart to the store for someone loading a car.
79. Invite someone new over for dinner.
80. Buy a roll of brightly colored stickers and give them to children you meet during the day.
81. Write a card of thanks and leave it with your tip. Be sure to be specific in your thanks.
82. Let the person behind you in the grocery store go ahead of you in line.
83. When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.
84. Buy cold drinks for the people next to you at a ball game.
85. Distribute kindness bookmarks that you have made.
86. Create a craft project or build a bird house with a child.
87. Give a bag of groceries to a homeless person.
88. Laugh out loud often and share your smile generously.
89. Plant a tree in your neighborhood.
90. Make a list of things to do to bring more kindness into the world, and have a friend make a list. Exchange lists and do one item per day for a month.
91. Use an instant camera to take people’s photographs at a party or community event, and give the picture to them.
92. As you go about your day, pick up trash.
93. Send a letter to some former teachers, letting them know the difference they made in your life.
94. Send a gift anonymously to a friend.
95. Organize a clothing drive for a shelter.
96. Buy books for a day care or school.
97. Slip a $20 bill to a person who you know is having financial difficulty.
98. Take an acquaintance to dinner.
99. Offer to take a friend’s child to ball practice.
100. Waive late fees for the week. Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.

I would love to hear your comments about how you impacted someone's life by doing a random act of kindness or how you merely Paid it Forward :)

Curved Paths

I think it's interesting that we have a preconceived idea of what our future holds. I have had so many wrong turns in my life that I would never have dreamt that I would be where I am today. Wrong turns? I don't think so...just new directions...guided by someone for some special reason. I think the directions we take, whether planned or not, have a reason for being part of our journeys. There are lessons that we learn along those paths that pave the way for future events. And if they aren't lessons for us, then they are lessons meant for others as a result of our directions we choose....

About a year and a half ago, I lost my job. It was devastating to me. Yet my belief was that everything happens for a reason. Although I could not fathom why I should have lost my job I knew there must be a reason even though I could not see it.So, I lost my job in April, had to vacate the condo I shared with my kids, and  had to start over...but where? Well I was planning on moving to Chatham when my lease was up in November of last year so that I could be closer to Darren, but this sudden turn of events really threw a wrench  in my plans. All of a sudden, I had to find a new place to live with no job and no money. And it also threw my kids' lives into a turmoil. If something affects one of us, it affects all of us. So the day I lost my job, I drove to Chatham to talk to Darren, being very upset I knew he was the only person I wanted to talk to. He made me feel a lot better and offered me to stay at his apartment until I get settled with a new job and secure a place to live. Good, I have support and an amazing person to help me get through this. But because of the path that my life had taken, my kids' lives had changed as well.

Now, life certainly does throw us some curve balls. But it is how we catch those curve balls and throw them back that makes the difference.For some, that adaptation is quite easy and the challenge is like an every day occurance. They have no problems with the curve balls. But  for others it is very difficult. Some people have a hard time adapting to changes and if there is to be a change in their life, then they want to be the ones making it. But change is necessary for growth. It is important for people to grow even if that growth was out of their control. I think the change in my life with losing my job and moving to Chatham, has definitely made an impact on my children's lives for the better. They have grown as adults and have had to make uncomfortable decisions that determine their own path in life. Curved paths or not, they all happen for a reason. I know there was a reason for mine :)

The Lucky One

The Lucky One...that's me. As I have travelled through life, I have realised just how lucky I am. For starters, I am lucky to have the family that I was blessed with.

Starting with my parents, my dad was the best. He has always put family first and at times, has worked 3 jobs just to support us. He has taught all of us the importance of sticking together and being there for one another. He was always the strong silent type and although he didn't always voice his opinion, you always knew he had one. He has set the best example for all of us to follow and I can proudly say we still all stick together and put each other first. He has been gone for over 12 years now, but I hear him and feel him every day. He is still here for me and I feel him around me all the time. He is truly missed.

My mom has always been the root of the family. The one that we all still look up to for advice no matter what our age..no matter what her age. She has been there for us and helped all of us kids through difficult times. Never complaining about her own situations, she still puts us first. Even though we are all grown with children of our own, her first concern is her children and grandchildren. She still has to make sure everyone is happy and ok. Being a mother myself, I believe I have followed in her footsteps and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am proud to say that I am just like my mother and that's quite an accomplishment. She is now in a nursing home. We all go visit her but somehow it just isn't the same when you are not in your own home. Home is what you make it..words to live by...

Brothers and Sisters...Dan, Sharon, Mitch and Terry...I love each and every one of them immensely. I would be lost without any one of them. I have been so lucky to have them growing up. They have made me the person I am today and I think I turned out pretty good. I can only hope that I have been able to pass on to my kids, the right things, the same things I have been taught...to always put each other first, to always be there for each other and to always love each other unconditionally. No matter what things get thrown at them and no matter what the other does, they are there for them, no questions asked.

My Kids...Kelsie and Rob (aka BB and Billy Bob)...geez, not sure where to begin here. I won the lottery when I was blessed with these two kids. I am so proud of each one of them. They both have their own strengths and accomplishments which make them unique. They say you never know unconditional love until you have children but I do think I learned that from my parents and siblings. Having kids just reinforced that love. I know they love each other a lot although it seems they like to go through life pretending they don't. Through thick and thin I know when it comes right down to it, they will always have each other. If they can both treat each other with love and respect, I would be happy. Somehow everything else always works out.

D...so glad I have him in my life. He really has been my rock since I have met him. He has gotten me through a tough couple of years. His sense of humour has always been his greatest asset to me. At the end of a bad day you have someone that can make you laugh, you hold onto that person. He treats me with respect and wants nothing more than t make me happy. I can talk to him about absolutely anything and he is not judgemental. He is a good listener and doesn't just tell me what I want to hear..he tells me what I need to hear. He is, and always will be there for me no matter what. I can trust him, end of story. He's a keeper :)

Maui...man, what did I do to deserve her? She has been an indispensable addition to my life. It's like she just "knows" when something is wrong or if someone is hurting. She is right beside you to make you feel better, physically or emotionally. You can have the worse day possible and you just have to look at those big brown eyes and you instantly forget about all the bad stuff. Maui Therapy..I wish I could bottle it!

Friends...perhaps should have been mentioned before the end but equally as important as family. Too many to mention but of course there are the best of the best who have always stood by me through the years. Tammy, who I have known since the first man walked on the moon, yes..1969..she's always had my back. Karen, 19 years of putting up with me. And Beckie, 18 or 19 years as well. I know I can pick up the phone and talk to any of my friends and it would be like I just talked to them yesterday. I would truly be lost without any one of them..

Family, friends, boyfriend, and dog...I have the best ones of all...I really am the lucky one <3